"Oh yes, I am an angry feminist. I am angry because I have the right to be. Go on and search my past, live my history, and then come back to face me and tell me that I do not have the right.
But know that when I curl up safe in my very own bed, in my very own space, where no one but myself tells me when to sleep and when to rise and how to speak or dress or act - know that before I go to sleep, I pray for my father. I pray for the men who have used me and hurt me and done me wrong. I pray for their forgiveness and their absolution and that one day, they might be changed.
And I pray that they never get the chance to hurt another little girl like they did me.
I am fire and I rage bright. I am a wind that cannot be contained. I go where I please and I go where I will. You cannot unmake me.
Trust me. They’ve tried.”
"I am not a feminist because I think men are monsters.
I am a feminist because I have seen how crippled men become when they believe they must be the best, the highest form of God’s green creation. I have watched gender norms cripple and shame men alongside of women. I am a feminist because I believe in the goodness of the species, of men and women alike, and that for us to succeed, we must do it together or not at all.”
A message from Prince Harry at the CHIME for Change concert. (x)
REASONS WHY I LOVE HIM TO DEATH.
Ok but this guy is a saint.
We hear about all the partying and stuff but in 2008, one of the soldiers in his battalion was being threatened by 6 other soldiers from another outfit for being openly gay. The soldier escaped and went back to duty when Harry saw him and demanded to know what happened and then was like “Right well I’m going to sort this out” and full on stomped over to the guys and threw a fit at them and solved the problem and those guys never bothered the soldier again and he did it all without violence.
FOUR FOR YOU P. HARRY YOU GO P. HARRY.
For me the best part of these practices is that I believe them. Being willing to listen to people and empathize with them has given me tremendous hope, love, and optimism for humanity. So much so that people can’t believe that I’m so happy and upbeat about our future, despite being realistic about human violence and oppression. We are, one by one, not so bad, and when we treat each other that well, we are not quite so lost in aggregate, either.
Sometimes, when the situation calls for more implicit knowledge than we have, we don’t belong in that situation. No one belongs on stage their first day dancing.
Explicit is better than implicit
People conflate being explicit with being offensive, cruel, or forceful. At the same time, implicit communication can be seen as courteous, deceptive, or exclusionary. None of these things are categorically true of either. The difference is that implicit communication requires more prior shared knowledge than explicit.
Margaret Barr’s 1955 ballet “Strange Children.” Tons of implicit knowledge here.
Implicitness can be useful, fast, and graceful. Implicit relations are like watching well-practiced dancers perform, but for social rituals. Everyone knows where to step in, and things get done, beautifully the first time.
But not everybody always has all those practiced routines and timings. Which means as communication fails, it should become more explicit, though not in the aggressive sense. There’s no point in punishing people for things they never learned. When a friend of mine who is on the autism spectrum fails to understand some part of social signaling, I simply explain it to them. An explanation can be seen as demeaning, but for people who haven’t worked out all the subrosa going on in a given room, it’s like handing them a decoder ring. The most honest thank yous I’ve ever had weren’t from people whose kids I’ve grabbed out of the street, they were from people who never understood some social convention until I just explained it to them in plain language. To do this, I try to imagine if no one ever told me what that phrase actually meant, or what this thing we use every day looks like. Once I’ve imagined that was me, I explain it to the other me that didn’t know. To be explicit and gentle, both at once, is to point out the handholds of the world to other people. All of us have our moments on the spectrum, when some part of life is baffling, and we need help. Often, politely asking for the help we need can get another person to point out the handholds, as well.
Here are a few practical considerations: when someone tells you their name, that’s their name. Not their nickname, or their real name, just their name. You should not rename them. To do so is to express power over them, whether that’s your intention or not. It’s not OK in the course of regular life to express power over other people. It’s the canonical dick move.
Postel’s Law, aka the Robustness Principle is useful here. Be conservative in what you transmit, liberal in what you accept, and reject malicious patterns. Another way to put that could be: speak gently, keep an open mind to what others say, and don’t be a doormat.
We are normal, extraordinary, and we are each a singularity of infinite solitude, held into ourselves by time and space curving to envelope us until we cease.
Breaking news: White fuckboys on twitter bitching how funny it is that Beyoncé is a feminist when she and her dancers were provocative and half naked. Despite feminism being about empowerment and a woman’s right to do whatever the hell she pleases with it, they just don’t seem to be able to grasp this concept.
In other news, men still don’t know what feminism is, still bitter that they aren’t Beyoncé and still making themselves look like asses on the internet.
And now the weather.